


Melting Ice

by Huffletuff_12



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: And titles, Angst, Apologies, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Tagging, and descriptions, clarke isn't annoying, she confronts octavia, the dark year
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-20 04:31:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15526101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Huffletuff_12/pseuds/Huffletuff_12
Summary: After hearing what happened during the Dark Year, Clarke confronts Octavia and offers the comfort that should have been given years ago.





	Melting Ice

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this before I watched 05x12 and can I just say... SHE'S BACK BITCHES!!!!  
> This is my first fic so let me know how I did and I would love some feedback :)

Clarke's hand shook as she held the radio. Had it really only been a few days ago that she was still trying to reach out to Bellamy on the Ark? Now they were on bad terms, everyone was on the brink of war again, and Clarke found out what had been happening beneath her feet four years ago while she had been feasting on fresh berries with Madi. That isn’t to say they didn’t have their fair share of hardships like that time a storm came through and destroyed their food they had saved up, but that were nothing compared to what those in the bunker were forced to–

“Clarke?” a voice cut through the static. She almost let out a sob thinking of the other 2,199 times she didn’t receive an answer, then cleared her throat.

“Bellamy,” she said, cutting right to the point, “I need to talk to Octavia.” 

There was brooding silence on the other end but eventually Bellamy said, “hold on.” Clarke nodded to the radio and took a shaky breath. This was risky, but it needed to be done. Her mom and Madi had managed to get them all out of McCreary’s camp by drugging him when he came in for treatment. Clarke thinks the only reason it worked was because he was so sure they wouldn’t try anything on him, but the next thing she knew, they were sneaking out the back door, stealing a radio and some provisions, and racing into the woods to one of Clarke and Madi’s old caves. 

“Clarke.” It was Blodreina who answered. “What could you possibly want?”

“I need to tell you something,” Clarke replied and then added, “in person. Will you let me see you? Without killing me?” There was a time when she would have said those words with a spark in her eye and a smirk on her lips, but not anymore and the thought made Clarke’s heart squeeze painfully. 

“What could you possibly need to say to me in person that you can’t over a radio, and why would I ever agree to those terms?” Her voice rang clear and harsh. 

Clarke took a deep breath before continuing, “It- it’s about the Dark Year. About my mother… and I need to tell you these things face to face. Please, Octavia.” Clarke heard the frozen silence over the radio, but she couldn’t tell if it was out of anger or shock. A full minute went by until, “Fine. I will agree to this, but it better be good. And you come alone, unarmed, and you don’t speak to anyone else in my camp while you are here. Understood?” 

“Yes,” Clarke said, “I understand.” 

\------------------------------------------

 

Nobody noticed as she walked through the camp, which Clarke was grateful for. She didn’t exactly fancy a confrontation with Wonkru or Spacekru if she could help it; she was here for just one thing, which was looming closer with every step she took. Blodreina’s tent stood proudly. Clarke took a deep breath, which she lost the moment she stepped through the cloth. There stood Octavia and Bellamy on opposite ends of a table discussing something Clarke didn’t hear over the roaring that suddenly filled her ears. The Blake siblings. The only brother and sister anyone knew, and they had both changed so much. Bellamy used to be her partner; the one who she turned to for everything; the one where they were so in tune it was as if they shared each other’s thoughts, but then he betrayed her and put Madi in danger. And Octavia, who used to be entranced by butterflies and was a core member of Clarke’s most trusted became the unrecognizable Blodreina. They both looked up. 

“If we could speak alone–” 

“I’m staying,” Bellamy interrupted Clarke immediately. Always the big brother, she thought wryly. Clarke looked to Octavia who shrugged. 

“Fine. I just wanted to say…” suddenly Clarke couldn’t find the words. The girl who was a leader of the 100 from the start and was a diplomat representing the Ark while side by side with Lexa couldn’t find the words. Octavia raised her eyebrows impatiently and said, “while this has been a stimulating conversation, Clarke, I actually have importa–”

“I’m sorry,” Clarke blurted out, “I am so sorry Octavia.” Clarke felt tears welling up in her eyes.

“Sorry for what? Going behind my back with Diyoza?” Octavia’s eyes became ice. 

“I’m sorry for not being there,” Clarke croaked out, “After everything, everything that happened to you, that you were forced to go through alone down there… I just– I just wish I could have been there. Could have helped you, but I wasn’t. And I’m so sorry for that Octavia. I never imagined that was what happened to you... ” A few tears slipped out of Clarke’s eyes of their own volition as she looked to the woman that used to be her friend. 

“O? What is she talking about?” Bellamy said looking at his sister, but she was just looking at Clarke. Her eyes which were solid ice just moments ago looked shattered. They didn’t melt, as they would have with any other person, but simply shattered; she may have broken, but she was still strong and held the pieces together herself. 

“Leave us, Bellamy,” Octavia said, still staring at Clarke with an emotion she could not recognize. Clarke saw he was about to protest until he saw the look on his sister’s face. Instead, he closed his mouth, shook his head, and left with only one backward glance. 

“You have no right,” Octavia hissed, “no right to say these things and speak of what you don’t know. You have no idea.” 

“I don’t,” Clarke agreed, “but I should. If I hadn’t stayed above ground, I never would have met Madi, but that doesn’t mean I can’t wish there was something more I could have done for you.” Clarke saw Octavia was going to interrupt her, but she needed Octavia to understand, so she rushed on, “I might have no understanding of what you went through, but I do know a little about being forced to make hard decisions and then dealing with the consequences alone.” 

“Save the self righteous act and the speech, Clarke. I’m not interested.”

“You have to hear this. I… left after what I did. I left Bellamy and my mom and Raven and you, Octavia. I had to get my head on straight or I might not have made it, but you didn’t have that choice, did you? You couldn’t break down or take some time to figure out what everything meant and if it was worth it. You didn’t have anyone to give you forgiveness like I did, either. But now you do.” Clarke took a deep breath and continued, “I forgive you.”

Octavia started shaking her head, but no words came out of her mouth. Clarke took a chance and placed her hands on Octavia’s cheeks and looked her directly in her eyes, “I forgive you.” Clarke could see the shattered ice slowly, hesitantly melting. “You did the right thing. If you hadn’t, you all would have starved to death. But not only that– you bear it so they don’t have to,” at that, Octavia let out an involuntary sob. Clarke could tell she was trying not to break down after finally hearing the words she needed to after years.

Clarke brought her arms forcefully around Octavia and whispered in her ear, “you took away their choice. You saved not only their bodies but their minds too. You are so strong Octavia. Lincoln would have been so proud.” Octavia’s arms came up around Clarke in a vice grip as the ice in her eyes fully melted and fell as tears onto Clarke’s neck. Clarke knew her eyes were equally as wet, so she just tightened her hold on the younger girl who seemed to have aged a millenia in the span of six years. 

After a few minutes of crying together and whispering I’m sorry’s and I’m here now’s, they pulled back and looked each other in the eye. Wanheda and Blodreina saw how different they were; they came from opposite social standings, one would never know the feeling of eating something that should never be even be considered sustenance, while the other couldn’t understand the feeling of single handedly killing hundreds of people with fire and missiles and radiation. They saw their differences, but they also saw how similar they were. They saw understanding. The pain would never go away; the nightmares of what they had done would never stop tormenting them, but in that moment, they saw that they were not alone.


End file.
